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This should go down as one of the greatest Weekend Update bits in SNL history.

I do? That would make us kind of crowded at SS/3B now, assuming Jace Jung is also not toast. Marte also has not hit enough in the high minors to overcome his awful defense.

Perhaps they simply haven't been provided the correct rhetoric to defend it with. Give it a little time.

The rhetoric is off by only 900 years.

I think it's possible Tork's on the block.

Irrespective of whether it applies with Workman and the Tigers, it is a reminder that sometimes even a good player does not mesh with a good organization's good system.

Apropos of nothing, Death of Stalin has become one of my ten go-to movies I will watch every time it’s on, and can turn on at any point in the middle of it and be happy to watch it through to the end.

To be fair, wholesale prices are coming down, so it’s not a complete lie. That said, isn’t the Republicans saying wholesale egg prices are coming down, while we are still paying elevated and even rising prices at the store, the same as when Democrats last year said inflation is under control while people were reporting rising prices at the grocery store?

They make it sound like Hitler, Mao, and Stalin could not have been at fault for their genocides simply because they identified and hired the five percent of their populations who would find it thrilling to carry them out at their behest.

It might not matter because red hats may have the same malady their dear leader does: the one in which a new piece of information completely pushes out the old piece of information which they won’t remember they ever heard in the first place. So when they say, “we never said consumers won’t pay higher prices because of tariffs”, they’ll genuinely believe it.

Extra Larges are $9.79 at the Kroger here in Big Shoulders.

Gage Tater Workman. True story.

Class up the ass!

Guenther?

As first highlighted by @romad1, we appear to be firmly ensconced in the era of special pleading. 6. 💰 GOP's DOGE back-channel As Elon Musk's slash-and-burn budget cuts hit Republican and Democratic areas alike, some GOP lawmakers are privately back-channeling with the Trump administration to try to shield their constituents from the fallout, Axios' Erin Doherty and Andrew Solender write. Why it matters: Republicans have largely cheered on DOGE in public. But behind the scenes, many of President Trump's allies fear potential political backlash to the cuts — and are scrambling to limit the damage. Of the 60 congressional districts with the most federal workers, a slight majority are represented by Republicans. 👂 What we're hearing: Several House Republicans told Axios they have succeeded in — or at least contributed to — getting DOGE to reverse certain cuts through private back-channeling. Rep. Cliff Bentz (R-Ore.) said he raised concerns about job cuts at the Bonneville Power Administration: "Whether it was my remarks back to DOGE or somebody else's, it got fixed. They ... hired back 30 people." Keep reading.

I feel "schmuck" is too soft a name to call FElon. 😁

So does iOS autocorrect.

Whoa, Foley cut all his straggly hair off!

I believe pitching chaos was based on not having more than two pitchers who could reliably start game. I believe the effect of pitching chaos was to keep other teams off-balance and affect their ability to prepare for the game—to your point, not letting get hitters get comfortable.

Maybe they want another pandemic so they can manage it the way they wanted to last time.

Honestly, I'm having a little trouble trying to figure out whether the overly cautious language is from CNN or the "watchdog group" itself. Here's the full section contemplating it: According to federal regulations, government employees must not use public property “for other than authorized purposes,” with exceptions for “de minimis personal use,” such as sending a personal email from a government account. Donald K. Sherman, the chief counsel for the watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, said Pinover’s posts appeared to violate rules prohibiting the use of government resources for private gain, and would not be considered “de minimis.” The rules don’t “give cover to a federal employee using government resources to subsidize their private business,” Sherman said. “It is highly problematic that while dedicated civil servants who want to work for the government are being fired for all manner of dubious reasons, or are being forced out by this administration, that someone at the agency leading that attack on the civil service is using their government job for private gain.” Sherman, the guy from the group, says the actions "appear" to violate the rules and that using a government job for private gain is "highly problematic", which is all really watered down language to describe using taxpayer-funded resources to help your side hustle. So, he's not helping by swinging and missing at the alarm bell. Leave it to the cited federal regulation itself to unequivocally affirm that public property MUST NOT be used for private gain. That seems pretty clear to me.

From the CNN story: One watchdog group said her videos could run afoul of rules restricting the use of government property for personal benefit because, while in the workplace, she was using a website that pays content creators commissions from the clothing brands they promote. "Could run afoul of rules". Or maybe could not. Let's have a debate about it.

Everyone else will be, though.

On Sunday we left the game at 3pm to get to TPA for a 5:50pm flight. Instead of taking us down I-4, which is the most direct route, Apple Maps routed us around it, west on 582 (Griffin/Knights Station Road), then down 39 back to I-4, which was still clogged in spots going into Tampa. The estimate when we left was 57 minutes. It took us nearly an hour and a half instead. But by the time we dropped off the car, took the tram, got through TSA and arrived at the gate, they were just starting to board. So the delay just happened worked out perfectly this time.

You may be on to something. His career splits indicate that Mazda does seem to be stronger against the first hitters he faces, especially in relief. This might be an indication that the contrast between his stuff and the stuff of the pitcher he relieves is substantial enough to flummox batters out of the gate.